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- How I stopped playing Tetris with my calendar đ
How I stopped playing Tetris with my calendar đ
How I stopped playing Tetris with my calendar đ
There was a time when I felt at odds with life.
Like how I was living wasnât living up to my visions and valuesâŚ
I can remember this one chaotic Tuesday (typical) where this reality truly crushed me.
Iâd just finished the first of my three morning calls, and my afternoon was fully blocked out for recording videos, interspersed with a few more meetings and my companyâs Town Hall (aka all-team meeting).
My calendar looked like a Tetris game, snug and packed with no room to breathe.
I ran to the kitchen with five minutes to spare to make instant oatmeal and a quick Nespresso⌠When is there time to eat an actual meal??
And thatâs when I saw my wife sitting the boys down for breakfast in their Mickey Mouse pajamas.
Man, I so badly wanted to be there.
I re-entered my office with a frantic mind. I knew I had a whole schedule ahead of me, but it wasnât what I wanted to prioritize.
My body was filled with stress. What do I do? Business or kids? And if I choose to take off this morning, how do I explain myself to the team?
I had been toying with this idea for a while now: Blocking off 10-1 on my calendar daily for 1:1 time with my youngest while our oldest was off at school, but I wasnât sure how to justify it.
I deliberated with my COO, my assistant, and my team⌠I listed all the reasons why I needed this time, backing up my thesis with bulletproof reasoning so I didnât offend anyone.
Then, clarity dawned.
Why was I bending over backward to justify spending time with my kids? Wasnât my desire reason enough?
Today in 5 minutes or less:
âď¸ The rich life isnât what you think
âď¸ Why âI wantâ beats âI needâ every time
âď¸ 4 steps to lean into your desires
THE RICH LIFE ISNâT WHAT YOU THINK
Needs control nearly every aspect of our lives.
When we're exhausted, our bodies cry out for sleep. After a taxing week, we jealously guard our "Do Not Disturb" moments.
We're wired to pursue security, to defend what's oursâŚ
It often feels as if weâre navigating a world defined by scarcity, where there just isnât enough to go around to satisfy everyoneâs needs.
And this causes us to rationalize our needs.
This is the "Need Mindset.â
And living in a Need Mindset doesnât just limit our personal desires â it shapes the way we measure the world around us.
We say we need wealth, but we only count dollars in our bank account.
We talk about life, but weâre really just counting candles on birthday cakes.
We discuss work, but obsess over the hours spent grinding.
We take these massive, colorful concepts and squish them into tiny boxes. Itâs like trying to measure the size of the ocean with a teacup.
We fixate on the finite: Dollars we earn, years we live, hours we work or donât work.
Imagine if the wealthiest billionaire in the world lived alone in Antarctica. đ§
Sure, heâd have plenty of dollars â and he could swim in them like Scrooge McDuck â but good luck finding good tacos or catching a movie with friends on a random Friday night!
But take a guy with a flexible remote job, a modest home, good friends, and a passport with more stamps than a post office.
Between the two, whoâs really living the ârich lifeâ?
$ canât begin to define the wealth of life. I know itâs cheesy, but wealth has a lot more to do with the memories we make than the balance in our bank accounts.
The world has shaped us to view life in black and white. Weâre pressured to justify our choices â especially when they donât feel like the âpracticalâ choice.
Itâs time to break free from the Need Mindset and to pursue what we want.
WHY âI WANTâ BEATS âI NEEDâ EVERY TIME
I need to take a day for myself because Iâm run down and just need to take care of myselfâŚ
I need to hire an assistant because I need help. My time is lost between work and making sure the family is taken care of. I need some weight lifted from my shouldersâŚ
I need to go to the LevelUp Summit because my success depends on itâŚ
Itâs exhausting, isnât it? The continuous loop of defending every want and need, as if our desires must pass some invisible test.
The burden of justifying, the chase for external validation⌠Itâs draining.
The key to finding relief, feeling lighter, and living a purpose-filled life?
Enter: the Want Mindset.
Ever heard of Dan Sullivan? His book Wanting What You Want pretty much blew my mind. He unraveled the sneaky mind trap of âneedsâ and taught me how empowering it is to simply want.
The beauty of "wanting"? Itâs inherently personal, dictated by our unique dreams and desires. Thereâs no need to offer explanations.
When I learned this, my desire to spend time with my kids in the middle of the workday no longer felt like a burden.
I desired time with my kids simply because I wanted it.
So the next time you feel the urge to justify a personal decision, I challenge you to repeat this phrase:
I want it because I want it. My values and my choices require no external validation.
4 STEPS TO LEAN INTO YOUR DESIRES
Change doesn't occur in a blink. While you might be excited about the Want Mindset right now, old habits often resist fading away. Here's how I learned to confidently lean into my desires without the need for justifications:
Prioritize Your Core Values:
Write down your core values. Highlight the top three that resonate the most with you.
Think of these values as your compass â they guide your choices and never need defending.
Rethink Scarcity and Abundance:
Instead of focusing on what you lack, view challenges as a stepping stone to your next big opportunity.
Remember, you have drive, determination, and the ability to make decisions. Find abundance in your life so that scarcity doesnât define your perspective.
Refine Your Words:
Stop saying "because" when talking about decisions. It's often a crutch word, leading to unnecessary justifications.
Switch âI needâ to âI wantâ when talking about your desires.
Establish Clear Boundaries:
Think of boundaries in terms of walls and fences.
Walls are your non-negotiables. They're the boundaries that you set and don't allow any exceptions. For example, a âwallâ might be not checking work emails after 8 p.m. to maintain work-life balance.
Fences, on the other hand, offer flexibility. They can be adjusted based on specific situations. For instance, you might have a âfenceâ around taking calls during family time â generally avoided, but with exceptions for emergencies.
Your desires reflect who you are. Honor them. These are real first steps to creating a life more aligned with what you genuinely want.
In a world obsessed with quantifying success â be it money, age, or hours â we often miss the true essence of life's wealth: our cherished memories and genuine desires.
This edition of Margin Makers introduced you to the Want Mindset. Itâs not about being selfish or neglecting responsibilities; it's about aligning with your true desires, without the burden of external validation.
Instead of playing lifeâs Tetris game, fit in the things that truly resonate.
Ask yourself: What wants have I put on hold, awaiting the ârightâ time or âperfectâ reason? Your desires deserve their moment now. The only validation required is your own.
To profiting more and working less. đ¸
-Matt
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